So much work, just for ants
by Dumblissfool
Summary: Gwen gets help from a certain host. What will happen? Will there be romance? Will there be friendship? And will you click this story? Find out today on SO MUCH WORK, JUST FOR ANTS.
1. Plan A failed Plan Chris it is

Yo! Okay, this is an unusual pairing. Maybe I won't make this into a pairing. It is catergorised as Romance/Friendship so you can't get me, ha-ha! But with a little encouragement from your reviews, I might just change it. So what's it gonna be? BFF or BGR? That's best friend forever and boy-girl-relationship by the way. Takes place in TDI Not Quite Famous.

I wish I own TDI. But wishes can't all be granted, right?

* * *

"Did you say you brought a red ant farm with you?"

"Yes."

"Can I borrow it?"

"For what?"

"To teach that diary-reading-ballerina a lesson."

"I won't get it back, will I?

"Hmm pretty much. So you gonna give it to me or what?"

"No."

The door slammed shut before the Goth girl could negotiate further. Her hand reached for the door again, hoping that the second time would be the charm. Before her hand even had a chance to knock, she paused. Common sense finally got hold of her. To believe in charms, it would be like believing in flying pigs. Turning away from the door, her mind frantically buzzed, searching for an alternative. She paced around the campsite aimlessly, her brows furrowed in frustration. All of her concentration broke when a warm sensation on her shoulder invaded her mind.

"Oh hi Chris. Need something?"

"Oh nothing. But do you?"

Gwen hesitated at his strange response.

"Why would I? You're the one who approached me."

"I hate to eavesdrop, but I can't help but overhear your conversation with Harold."

"You were following me?" Gwen asked, incredulous.

"Don't flatter yourself. Forgetting the cameras, anyone?"

"Oh. That. Wait-You're still filming us even after the challenge?"

"Let's not get carried away. You want to prank Heather right?

"Yea, so?"

"I can help you with that."

"Why should I trust you?"

"This could be fun! But if you don't want to, it's okay. See you later then."

After finishing his sentence, Chris walked slowly away from Gwen smirking, waiting for the moment.

"What do you suggest?"

Upon hearing those magic words, he turned slowly, facing Gwen with a smug, earning him one of the Goth girl's trademark Gwen's-not-happy look.

"You don't seem interested. Why should I tell you?"

"Cut it out. Just tell me."

"Alright. Since you can't get hold of Harold's ants, we'll just have to get some from the woods."

"What? You mean that's it? I'm wasting time here."

"Do Wawanakwa fire ants interest you?"

* * *

So? So? Okay, this story will get better, I promise. Reviews are appreciated. By the way, for those reviewers of Plunge, my other story, thanks a lot! You guys sure have a sweet tongue. Or hands. Heck, you know what I mean.

Another thing---Why the heck would Harold give up his ant farm? Just because a girl asked him? NO arguments? Nothing? IMPOSSIBLE! Although I have to admit, she's pretty hot...


	2. Getting to know you

Yo! Yup, it's me again. Be expecting another chapter tomorrow, so stay tuned, or something like that. Now, get ready for more SMWJFA! (That means So much work, just for ants.)

Pigs would fly and shower candy onto the world if I own TDI.

* * *

The crescent moon hung low in the indigo sky. With sparkles comparable to diamonds, stars decorated the heavens, each of them desperately trying to shine as brilliantly as the sun. With torches lighting our way, we treaded the narrow pathway that meandered through the thick vegetation. The walk was quiet and awkward. She walked right beside me, her eyes wide and alert, sometimes darting around, as if expecting something to jump out of the growth. I would laugh at such behavior, but the woods do seem a little bit creepy. Without Chef, that large burly guy, felt totally weird. Like I had lost some measure of security. For once, I worried about our safety. Bears roam freely in Wawanakwa, so it does not make sense to let my guard down. Other than the backpack, I've brought a machete with me, slung at the side of my waist. Originally it was to add some drama to our trip, but coming to my senses, it could prove to be a useful weapon. But like any other incompetent hikers, both of us soon calmed down, bored of the uneventful trip.

"Hey. What did you bring with you?" she asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"A backpack with several stuff in it. And a machete."

I took out the silvery blade and hacked the air in emphasis.

"What for? I mean the machete."

"For bears and psychotic castaways."

"You're the one who's psychotic."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

With extreme caution, I placed the threatening weapon away back to the side of my waist. One clumsy false move could seriously damage my manlihood.

"So why you want to help me anyways? The real reason please."

"Heather isn't exactly a lovable person. Hot yes, but still. Besides, this could be fun! It'll be a break from all that hosting."

"Well, so far I'm feeling no fun."

"Who knew?"

"Mind if I ask you a question?"

"I am bored. So go ahead, entertain me."

"Do you write diaries?"

My body stiffened at the sound of the last word. I hesitated. Man she's good.

"Does it matter?"

"Well, sorry for trying to have a conversation."

That stung me a little. Or maybe more.

"If you must know, yes. I do."

"Wow. You don't look like one who does."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing. Just…didn't expect a guy to write."

"I am the writer of this show, you know."

"You are?"

"And the executive producer."

"You do so much? Hard to believe all that."

Raising my eyebrow, I stared at her, wondering how this conversation is going.

"I thought you are just the host of this show. Must be hectic to be you."

"It is kinda hectic. But it does give me a big paycheck. Not to mention it's fun to control your fate."

I saw her knit her brows at my last comment, but it all disappeared soon once her mind found a question for me.

"How much do you earn? In a month?"

"Hmm…Confidential."

"Oh well. Can't say I didn't try then."

* * *

I know what you're thinking. Where's the action? Where's the romance? Where's the reviews? All of that will be answered, on the later part of the story.


	3. Awkward

Okay. Here's the next one. I think I have overdone this story. Not in a good way. Too long, too little action. If you feel the same, well, bear with me. I think I'm having those days where you just don't do a good job of stuff. But the next chapter will be better I promise. Writing sure is hard.

I don't own TDI.

* * *

The trees around us were tall and grim under the moonlight. Every once and a while I would look up to the skies, taking a small break from those dense undergrowth. The pathway grew thinner and thinner as we moved further in, giving us a queer feeling of being swallowed alive. The last time Chef and I came the path was wide; wide enough for both of us. Now Gwen and I could hardly walk side by side. Not that I care though. I was beginning to regret coming in the first place. Or at least coming here during the sun's illuminating presence.

"So how you get to know about these ants?" she asked, breaking the eerie silence.

"Oh. Chef and I was going to have a challenge about pain, and native ants are free so why not?"

"Aren't you a cheap sadistic man."

"Flattering will get you nowhere, Gwendolyn."

"So what made you choose it anyway?"

"Oh, don't worry, you'll find out-Whoa! Speak of the devil. There it is."

"You mean there's only one?"

"No, I mean its nest."

And there it stood before us; a giant mound that towered many small shrubs. The thing was almost as tall as me! She stood there in her spot, rooted to the ground. Her eyes were wide and her jaw hanged open. Couldn't blame her; I would have done that if it wasn't my first. As much as I love to see her shocked expression, I had to get her back. Back to earth, I mean.

"Hey Gwen. Gwen."

"Finally, she regained her composure.

"You might want to move. These ants don't like it when you stand in their way. Literally."

She jumped at the end of the sentence. To be precise, she jumped on me. And my foot hurts. Her eyes scanned the ground and her shoes for unwanted hitchhikers, but how she missed my foot were beyond me.

"Er, Gwen? Watch the hair, body and foot please."

"She got off quick, her face turning pink.

"Sorry about that."

"You know, hugs from me cost quite a fortune. But since you're pretty, I won't pursue it."

Okay, originally I wanted to make things less awkward. But thanks to my mouth it just got worse. A lot worse. Today is just not my day.

"Er thanks?"

I didn't reply. I didn't want to. It could mean more embarrassment. Kneeling down, I placed my backpack onto the soil and retrieved the contraption.

"Is that a…vacuum cleaner?"

"Kind of."

"So, what, you're sucking them up?"

"Yup."

"That's something you don't see every day."

* * *

Yea I know. Too uneventful. No punch in it. Darn it, I so did not see that coming. Maybe I should stick with oneshots. If I've wasted your time, I'm really sorry. But you can bet on it the next chapter will be better. That is, you continue to have faith in this. I will finish this with 2 more chaps. Oh, I'm feeling so blue right now.


	4. A new level of awkwardness

Yo! Thank you for reaching this chapter! Thanks for the faith! I've promised you a better chapter so here you go!(hopefully it is a better one) Go on, read!

If I own TDI, I own the world.

* * *

I scanned the area for those small beasts. While many animals hit the hay, these little critters still worked, still bursting with energy. They themselves became trails for their fellow workers. They moved with absolute synchronization and speed. All of them worked for themselves, the newborn, their colony and ultimately their queen which remained unchallenged. Gwen and I took plenty of time marveling at their super-sized metropolis. Both of us searched for a safe spot to collect those little insects. There! It seemed devoid of any ant activity. I moved towards my destination, eyes watchful of the ground that were flowing with ants. Gwen followed, too weary of those formidable bugs. Checking around our space for ants for the last time, both of us squatted down, our eyes still on the alert for any ant that might be too close for comfort. Flicking the switch of my small gizmo, a loud, continuous mechanical sound was heard. With the aid of light from Gwen, I aimed the nozzle to the nearest ant I could spot. The vacuum was practically transparent. Or at least translucent. I saw them instantly lifted from the ground, and into the mouth of my gadget. Scuttling within the glass prison, they had their feelers perked up, trying to register what happened.

"Hey. You want to give it a try? It's rather…unusual."

"Sure. Why not?"

I handed her the entire contraption, taking the torch from her hands.

"It is weird. Never thought I'll would vacuum ants. Not exactly the things I wanna do in my life though."

"I never thought I'll spend time with you."

Darn it! There I go again. Me and my mouth.

"Hmm. Me too."

Then I saw it. One lone ant slowly making its way on top of her hand. She must have held the thing too close. My hand shot out to flick it.

"Ow!"

Too late. She swatted the still gnawing ant in response, dropping the the vacuum onto the ant-infested soil. Fortunately I saved it in time before the ants could engulf it.

"You alright?"

"It's just a really painful bite."

"Well, now you know why I chose them."

"Isn't that dandy," she said, dripping with sarcasm.

Making sure there was no sign of escapees for the umpteen time, I slid the contraption back into the backpack. Time to get back.

"My hand feels like it's on fire."

"They don't call them fire ants for nothing."

Then it happened. A brown bear came out of the woods and looked straight into us. Both of us stood dead in our tracks. Maybe that's what will happen to us. Dead. It roared at us and I thought this must be the end. No more hosting, no more Gwen time-wait why would I think that? I hadn't had time to figure that out; the bear soon charged towards Gwen. So I stood in its way with my back facing it. Ya, I ask myself several times why I did that. But if something serious were to happen, I'll have to do those annoying paperwork! Sure it may not be the reason why I decided to protect her, but who cares? Anyways I had a backpack with me; maybe with hope it'll protect both of us. The blow didn't hurt me, much, but it is still strong enough to topple the two of us over. The thing is, I now laid on top of…her. That was an uncomfortable landing. Or was it the other way round? Something else happened too. There was something warm touching my lips. I saw her eyes looking into mine, wide and disbelieving. Should I move, risking both of us of being mauled? Or should I stay still? Heck, I'll take the latter. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying to save the both of us, nothing more…I felt her heart beating wildly, and mine was too doing the same. She too didn't move, and soon the grizzly grew tired of us and moved on. The whole ordeal lasted sixty-seven seconds. Not that I care.

"Er Chris? Can you get off of me? The bear's gone."

"Oh! Right!"

How was I supposed to know the grizzly bear left for good? Furthermore, laying there for a couple of minutes wouldn't hurt, right? I'll take lying motionless on the ground than having another round with a bear any day.

* * *

So how did I do? Better isn't it? I sure hope it is. Please tell me how you felt through your lovely reviews! Please do! Be it anonymous or signed! No one's judging you! Anyways if you have time, check out my YOUTUBE account! For more but not a lot of information, go to my profile.


	5. Chris is happy

Hey! Last chapter this is so thank you all for reading this entire thing. Not as good as I thought it would be, but, you know. At least I'm done. Orignally I had a shorter version of this and posted it, but I thought this should deserve some real romance. So here you go. This is a long one, the longest in fact. So get ready for the most dramatic ending from me yet! On with the story!

Don't own TDI.

* * *

The trip back was a quiet one. The bear incident was the most terrifying and awkward time I ever had in my life so far. Gwen hadn't said a word ever since. Should I apologize? Or just wait until it blows over? I didn't even get to use the machete. No, I'm not that eager to swing it at an animal. I mean, if I had used it, things might turn out better. Instead I had to go all heroic and ended up in an awkward situation. But then again, it might not turn out better. I'm not exactly an expert in combat. And what could be better than getting out in one piece? Gwen's not hurt, physically that is. I'm not bruised or anything. The backpack served well as an excellent cushion. Anyways, I should apologize. After all, I, in a way, caused all these rather unfortunate events. Breathing in and out steadily, I prepared myself for the words. After all these years, she's probably one of those few who will ever hear me say that word. Here goes nothing.

"Ow!"

Okay, that came out wrong. That doesn't even sound like an apology. Was my mind so against the idea of apologizing? So much that I actually felt pain? There it is again! It came from my arm this time! Bringing my arm up, immediately I saw a red bump. Wow! The unconscious state of mind just did that? Wait-Did the red sore just moved? Is that…an ant? Then it hit me. Or bit me. The bag!

"Crap! Help!"

"What is it?"

At last, she finally failed to ignore me.

"Ow! Ants! Argh!"

It wasn't long before she realized had happened.

"Take the bag off!"

Of course! I had been so busy crying out in pain and getting her attention that I've forgotten to just rid myself of the source! I could feel them within my clothes; crawling and gnawing at my delicate skin. My body was screaming for relief. I couldn't take it anymore; I had to take off my shirt. And so I did. Chucking it away, I began brushing my hands against my body as if I were taking a shower. Only a lot frantic and darn it was it painful. Their fangs are like anchors, incredibly stubborn to remove. Not mention the pain that came along with it. Soon my hands certainly did the job. No more ants. Just a lot of sores. Argh, the burning sensation is kicking in.

"Hey you alright?"

"…Ya. It takes a lot more to bring down Chris McLean."

At last she smiled. So I got chewed by ants; at least I got her to forgive me. She did right? Only one way to find out.

"Gwen. Sorry about just now. I mean the bear thing."

Her response wasn't quick.

"Well, you did kinda saved me…"

"So you're not mad at me anymore?"

"No. That was still not right!"

Oh well, at least I now know for sure. Time to change the subject.

"Gwen? Have you seen my shirt?"

"It's in the mud puddle."

Great! Just great! How am I supposed to wear it? This just gets worse and awkward by the minute. Now I have to trek back, with no clothes on my back! Why now, why me? Curiously enough, the ants are done with terrorizing and had left my bag alone. Taking a look into the bag, I saw my ant-collecting gadget in pieces. Once again, another point for the bear for making me miserable.

"You do realize we have no ants. So-"

"Crap!"

Make that two points.

Finally, after those unfortunate incidents, I was spared. Why? Because we just reached the campsite. No one was to be seen in the camp. Must have gone to their cabins. For the first time today, I got what I hoped for. We then went in to the building where those campers had their breakfast. I was hoping to find Chef in the kitchen. He'll know where the first aid kit is stashed. Bingo! My luck just came back to me!

"What happened to you? Where's your shirt? And why is she here-Chris! You sly dog! Trent's gonna get you for this."

"We did nothing!" Gwen and I said in unison.

"And you're red all over! And where did those bite marks come from?" Chef said, eyeing the girl slyly.

"Those doesn't even look like teeth marks!" I said.

"Calm down, I didn't say they were." Chef said, laughing.

"Chef, be serious! I'm burning over here!"

"Alright. Tell me your version of the story."

"We went into the woods…"

"And?"

"Don't interrupt me. To get some fire ants. Then we met a bear. Then the ants escaped. And we're here."

"Are you sure you didn't miss out _anything exciting?_"

"No! Be serious here!"

"Well, you should have asked me for those ants before going out in the woods. I have some."

That time, I felt like hitting myself on the forehead. Darn it!

"Alright. Got anything for fire ant bites?"

"Ya. Go have shower first. For goodness's sake you two stink!"

I came out of the shower of my caravan. The shower certainly made me feel much better, but the burning sensation still persisted, but definitely not as bad as it started. Then she came out too from the shower. And no, she wasn't sharing the same shower as me. I had two showers in there, so to be a good host I thought I'll let her use it. No harm in that. Besides, she'll probably need a break from those communal bathrooms that were always full. From what I've heard, that is.

"Hey. How's the shower?" I said.

"Not bad. Finally a break from those communal bathrooms."

The ointment laid on the table, courtesy from Chef. It had a conspicuous note below it, written 'For those fire ant bites, Chris'. I picked it up and began squeezing the tube and came a long strip of white viscous liquid. Smearing the thing all around my body, the relief was instant. But I had problems reaching my back. The bites somehow were concentrated at those hard-to-get spots.

"Need help with that?" she asked, smirking at my not-so-successful attempts.

"Umm, sure. Thanks."

I sat on my bed, with my back facing her. She did the same and started applying the ointment.

"I haven't really thanked you for saving me so…thanks. Not a lot would do that for me."

I wondered what she was getting at. It didn't take a long time before my imagination ran wild with_ certain thoughts._

"Erm, I'm sure many would do it."

My cheek started to warm. My body began to heat up a little, but I doubt she wouldn't notice it. And I was right.

"You seem a little bit warm. Too warm." She said.

"Ohhh, er, must be because of the bite of the fire ants."

"I guess that may be it…"

"I think it's done."

I turned to face her, to see her. Nope, not going to deny that she's…amazing.

"You should leave some for yourself. You too got bitten." I continued, leaving no room for awkward silence to intervene.

"True. Aren't you caring?"

"Err…thhanks."

"Hey. You got bitten on your cheek. Let me get that."

As she said that, she leaned forward to have a closer look at my cheek. Her hand then reached to touch my cheek and it felt weird. My hand then got up to hold hers, and why I did that I did not know. But it certainly did something. Both of us then looked straight into each other's eyes. Slowly, I moved forward and she seemed to do likewise. It wasn't long before _it happened. _It was just amazing.

"Chris! You in here man? I got the ants you wanted!"

And then I believe we stopped. It wasn't immediate. We took plenty of time to end it. It sounded far, far enough for us to end it the way we wanted. Then the door opened.

"There you are. Why'd you brought her here?"

"I needed her to do something for me." I said.

* * *

For the rest of the story, you know the usual, Gwen finally got her ants to prank. So I hope I hadn't been a complete waste of time for you guys. Probably it is. And I think I suck at kissing scenes, but what the heck. Originally this was a oneshot, but for some reason I turned it into 5 chaps. Reviews?


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